For Better Or For Worse

For Better Or For Worse

The Nightcap

Nightcap for July 22nd, 2017


“There is no great genius without some touch of madness.” – Aristotle

Freaky Fast Food

Have you ever eaten at a Denny’s before? If not, there are a few things you should probably know before reading the article below.

First of all, if your answer was “no” I congratulate you. You are already a better person than myself and about 90 percent of the population.

Second, how were you able to avoid eating at a Denny’s? I mean, I guess it’s understandable if you’ve never consumed alcohol or been up past the typical time restaurants close. In that case, I could fathom why you’ve never had any reason to eat there. Let’s be honest Denny’s is disgusting. It’s just an iHop with fewer drug addicts in the bathrooms. Nonetheless, with enough syrup and ketchup, the food tastes good enough.

The thing about Denny’s is you only dine in because of the shocking amount of alcohol you consumed hours beforehand is clouding your judgment. The next morning, your sober self will hate you for putting your body through the experience. It’s almost like a bad one night stand, which at the time seemed like a good idea.

There are a few ways to navigate around the menu so you can minimize the damage (but trust me, there will still be harm no matter what you choose). I believe if you stick with the basic breakfast options, you may be better off the next day. There are parts of the menu you will definitely want to avoid altogether, like the Moons-Over-My-Hammy or the Bacon Milk Shake. I’m 75% sure those aren’t made out of actual food and 100% sure you won’t get out of bed the next day.

In general, I do have to say Denny’s still resembles a somewhat dignified food structure and is American icon of some sort. There’s also always a cop eating in one or driving around one, so you will feel protected while dining in. Furthermore, you are easily able to pronounce all of the items on the menu, unlike other restaurant chains that are coming out with the most horrific food combinations and dishes ever created.

The New “I Do’s”

Even though America is considered a melting pot of multiple cultures and religions, generally speaking, we have stuck with the same age old wedding traditions. Up until the last few decades, it was customary for the bride’s parents to pay for the wedding. Ceremonies were held in denominational churches and performed by a priest, pastor, or spiritual advisor. The bride typically wore a white gown while the groom wore a tuxedo and an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen would accompany the couple down the aisle. The father gave away the bride, and rings were exchanged to cement the sacred union.

While many of these traditions are still implemented today, weddings have progressively changed course over the years. People are cutting back on the lavish ceremonies, opting for simplicity. Outdoor venues are much more widespread, as are more casual dress codes and buffet-style dinners. Women are coming up with fun alternatives to the white wedding gown, and instead of coming down the aisle to the standard wedding march, some couples are opting to do silly things like line-dance to the altar.

I, for one, am all for ditching the boring rituals and opting for a celebration that fit your personal style. Let’s be honest; nobody actually shows up for the wedding ceremony. Okay, maybe your immediate family does but nobody else cares what color scheme you chose or what flowers you use as center pieces. Everyone is there for the free food and alcohol, so why not do what you want to do? Why not personalize it to fit your taste? Screw what your mother-in-law wants. You’re going to be the one stuck looking at the over-priced pictures for years to come, so you better make it something worth remembering. My point is, if you aren’t into the traditional wedding themes, just forgo them. Besides, there’s a fifty percent chance you will get divorced anyway.

If you are unsure what to do, you may want to borrow a few fresh ideas from other cultures and check out these wedding traditions from around the world.

Divorce Entrance Dance

So we have all seen wedding entrance dances but what about divorce entrance dances?

Watch these people celebrate their new found freedom

JK Divorce Entrance Dance