Truth Of The Matter
Young woman lying on bed with hand in hair

Truth Of The Matter

The Nightcap

Nightcap for August 26th, 2017


“Courage is knowing what not to fear.” – Plato

Different Forms of Government As Explained Over Twitter

There seems to be discrepancy in our understanding of the different forms of sovereignty and government currently implemented around the world, what each form means, and how the rulings influence the people of that country.

For example, people are fairly quick to misconstrue Socialism for Communism and while, admittedly, their philosophic definitions are very similar, in practice, the forms of government are quite different. Or, maybe it’s the other way around. See? It’s all very confusing, specifically if you don’t actually live under that governmental and economic regime.

Here to save the day is Lindokuhle Mbali Mtshali. I’m not actually sure if that’s his real name as you can call yourself “Deep Balls Princess” on Twitter and nobody is going to question if that is how it’s written on your birth certificate. Anyway, Mr. Mtshali created a very handy and humorous twitter-chart to clarify any confusion regarding the various forms of governmental entities. Click here for a history lesson and a laugh.

Fake It Til’ You Make It Doesn’t Mean in Bed

I remember being maybe six and overhearing an exchange between my father and his brother. One of them asked the other, “How can you tell when a woman is orgasming?” and the other responded, “Who cares?’ They both got a good laugh out of it and I laughed along because I had no idea what they were talking about, but if they thought it was funny, it must have been, right?

Well, no, not really. Here’s the thing: I can take a joke. I can take a misogynistic joke. I can take an un-politically correct joke (in fact, those are usually my favorite). But when it comes to the female orgasm, not only is it not funny that so many women aren’t having one, you have to wonder why this isn’t being addressed. Because I assure you, if 80 percent of males out there were not getting off, millions of dollars would be funneled into research as to why. And the woman would undoubtedly be to blame. I mean, look what happens when they can’t even get it up? You’d think the world tilted off its axis.

There are a few things I personally blame for the phenomena, none of which may pertain to all woman but I have a distinct feeling I’m on the right track. Firstly, women tend to be the more submissive of the male-female dynamic (at least in the bedroom) which means they are less likely to speak up if their partner isn’t doing something right. My guess is they remain quiet because they think saying something will hurt the man’s feelings (and we wouldn’t want to bruise the fragile male-ego, now would we ladies?) Secondly, I really don’t think most men know what they are doing. It’s like they’ve just watched a lot of porn, categorically filed it into their memory bank of “best moves” and decided that those sort of things are actually what get women off. Thirdly, I swear half of you men have never heard of or seen the clitoris. There are diagrams, like, everywhere. Just google that shit. Your lady friend will thank you later.

Anyway, regardless of the multitude of reasons that could be causing us women to look waywardly out the window while we’re getting plowed, it’s a problem. And it needs to get fixed. Like, now. Here, experts weigh in on the statistics, the problems, and the solutions.

Blind Dates

First dates can be nerve-racking. Especially if they are blind dates.

Watch this hysterical Always Sunny when Charlie attempts online dating