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Don’t Be A Baby


The Nightcap

Nightcap for October 29th, 2017

APERTIF:

“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” – Stephen Hawking



And the best costume goes to… whichever parent made it

I’m a mom of a 2-year-old and two jobs which means A) I’m ALWAYS busy and B) I’m teetering on the edge of being a full-blown alcoholic… but at least I’m a functioning one, right? Guys?

Anyway, being the subpar mother that I admittedly am, I was so caught up in a million other things that I put off getting my kid a Halloween costume this year. Normally, this would make me the worst parent alive but my kid isn’t even two yet so Halloween is a little out of his grasp of understanding, meaning he won’t be sitting in a psychiatrist’s room, discussing the many ways I ruined his life… at least, not this year.

.Actually, I have to give myself a little ol’ pat on the back. I had forgotten we had made tentative plans with another couple with a toddler to do this Halloween themed hayride festival thingy. Having forgotten my son’s costume, I panicked when he realized our friends’ little one was going as Elmo cuz that’s what 2-year-olds do. It’s a respectable and age-appropriate costume.

I panicked, scrimmaged through a bunch of his old clothes til I came across a bow tie we put him in last Easter. I strung that bad boy around his neck, left him in diapers, bronzed him with self-tanner, drew some abs, threw a cowboy hat on the kid and -Voila! – he was Magic Mike. If you think got a second I there’s no way I would do that to my toddler, you are sorely misinformed. I must say he pulled it off quite well, but we really need to work on his delivery of “I see a lot of lawbreakers up in here.”

I have to say I was mildly proud of myself for coming up with such a clever and cheap costume last minute, which made me wonder how many (albeit morally questionable) patents are dressing their kids up so I went digging and I was beyond impressed…

See what I found here



Damn Those Millennials

I must say, I’ve pretty much had it with people talking about the “millennials” with such disdain – like they are part of a sub-species that have caused everyone else in society so much headache and grief.

So yeah, the Snapchat thing with the fake ears is stupid and maybe the fact that they pretty much killed the cab business with Uber is sad, but you know who INVENTED Uber and Snapchat? Millennials. Along with a whole host of brilliant start-up businesses that us old people utilize every day.

Calling them lazy is just nuts because the typical 20-something nowadays works twice as hard for half the money as someone their age in the 80’s.

And yes, maybe they can be whiny, but have you BEEN on the comment section of Fox News?

So, no, millennials really aren’t terrible humans, out to destroy humanity and our sense of right doing. And if they are, you can blame the PARENTS of the millennials for raising them that way. Which would be – GASP – MY generation.

There is a difference in what millennials are spending money on then, say, Generation X. What kind of things are they blatantly throwing their $8.25 minimum wage income at? It’s not strippers, I can promise you that.

Learn more here


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Written by Mcclain Warren


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