“Stay hungry, stay foolish.” – Steve Jobs
Don’t Get Your Panties in a Brunch
I’m gonna start this article with a disclaimer: brunch is effing awesome.
I mean, I haven’t really compared the ratio of how many gay friends I have to how much I love brunch, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a correlation.
Either way, brunch is fantastic and not just because you can drink vodka at 9:30 am without judgment (cheers to you, Sir Inventor-of-The-Bloody-Mary).
It’s just such a great excuse to drink your brain cells away, eat bacon all day, and spend time with your friends. Sure, you’re probably getting Andre champagne in your mimosa which is hangover-in-a-bottle-hell. And sure, maybe you’re paying 3 times more than you normally would for eggs. But… helllllllloooooooooo???… it’s BRUNCH, BITCHES.
Unfortunately, there are people out there (fun-ruiners and people without souls) who don’t appreciate brunch and this is apparently 23 reasons why brunch is the worst.
I view anything dealing with meditation, yoga, and holistic medicine like I do fake eyelashes –they’re fabulous and make people look great, but when I try it, I end up pulling a muscle, looking like an idiot, and eventually just giving up cuz I’m grouchy and hungry.
Essentially, the only zen I have in my life is lay’n on my couch, drinking wine, and watching Stranger Things.
Then you have my best friend who thinks vaccinations are a government conspiracy and gluten is the spawn of satan. (I swear, she’s actually pretty cool besides some of her nutty ideas regarding health.)
So, when she told me that her husband was going on a spiritual mission to find himself (I wasn’t aware he was lost) and he would be doing this by having a Shaman inject his skin with frog poison, I didn’t bat an eye.
Yes, tripping on the poison of frog scales from the Amazon is a thing. It’s called Kambo tripping and I just want to know why when I did mushrooms in college, I was looked at as a degenerate, but when you trip on frog poison, it’s a “spiritual journey?”
If spiritual tripping sounds like something up your alley, here is one person’s experience with Kambo.
Pretty sure this would end a lot of fights between couples