Driving Me Crazy

Driving Me Crazy

The Nightcap

Nightcap for November 19th, 2017


“We are always the same age inside.” – Gertrude Stein

Take Two. Two Driver’s License Tests, That Is

I remember exactly how it felt when I first sat behind the steering wheel of the car before I got my driver’s license. Ok, well truth be told, it happened twice because I failed the stinking driver’s test the first time.

So maybe I remember the way it felt the second time I sat behind the wheel to take my second drivers test. Oh, whatever….nevertheless, I still remember what it feels like to prepare and study for weeks or months to get your license for the first time in your life. It can be a very nervous time because not only do you have to pass it to be one of the cool people at school and neighborhood, you also don’t want to go around telling all of your friends you failed and were essentially were a loser. (Which I did, but I didn’t have a lot of friends, so it wasn’t a big deal)

I failed my driver’s license test on the three-point turn, which in my case ended up a 5-point turn. Today I still do 5-point turns, but in my defense, I do them a lot less. Over 20 years later and not much has changed. If you’ve taken your driver’s license test, then you can probably relate to these stories of teens getting their driver’s license for the first time.

Why Didn’t the Opossum Cross the Road?

I was having dinner with a friend of mine the other evening, and somehow I revealed to him something I don’t tell many people about — my embarrassing driving mistakes when I was young.

Back when I was about 17, a young little chick-a-dee, I had just got my license and a car. I was driving home from my boyfriend’s house around 9 pm and was a bit nervous because it was one of the first times I had ever driven at night. But I was prepared by having my bright lights on and was readily paying attention. So then why did I totally freak o-u-t when I saw a large white marsupial walking in the middle of the road? It was at that moment the knowledge I gained from hypothetical learning situations, that I did the exact opposite. I put the pedal to the metal (the gas pedal, that is) instead of on the breaks, and turned the wheel smack right into him rather than swerving away from him. Who, oh why did I do that? I ran him over like there’s no tomorrow! Yikes, no pun intended there, but that little opossum didn’t stand a chance, and unfortunately never lived to have another tomorrow.

For over 20 years I’ve felt terrible and guilty about running over the little creature, so much so that I always try to remember to press the breaks rather than the gas if I see something in the road. So far…. it’s worked.

When I told this story to my friend, he found it to be quite amusing and had a pretty good laugh. I can sometimes be a bit animated when telling stories so I’m sure I played it out pretty dramatically, and when I was “showing him” how I ran over the poor little guy, I probably made it a tad too theatrical. But hey, at least there’s a little humor in this, and of course a good learning lesson. RIP Opossum 1997. For more funny car stories, check these out.

Sibling Bonding

If you have siblings then you know how to mean they can be, but this elaborate prank by two older brothers is so funny, you’ll be wanting to try it on your own sister or brother.