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Bad Decisions


The Nightcap

Nightcap for December 23rd, 2017

APERTIF:

“Only entropy comes easy.” – Anton Chekhov



DNA-NO

I’ve never really understood why knowing your ancestry/heritage is soooo important to people. Like, in what way does it affect your day-to-day life other than you get to walk into casinos and tell people that YOUR great, great, grandparents probably, might, possibly have half owned this money sinkhole in the 70’s. Or it gives you a genetic write-off to get extras shhhhwasted on Saint Patrick’s day because your second cousin’s biological Grandma was part of the potato famine.

The only reason I can see giving a shit is if you were kidnapped as a child and genuinely need to figure out where you’re from.

So, a lot of people turn to Ancestry.com or one of those other online DNA testing companies to figure out what their heritage is, presumably so they can obnoxiously interject that information into dinner conversation to an audience that could give a shit.

Also, doesn’t anyone stop to think about the fact that they’re sending their DNA to a company that could one day sell it to the government? My mom won’t even put her credit card information into the computer but her DNA? Sure! Here’s access to everything you need to know about me.

But aside from my own little conspiracy theory, here are other reasons you may want to consider not doing that.



D-Day

If you want to know how evil mankind can be, just watch a divorce proceeding. People don’t like getting screwed over and they particularly don’t like getting screwed over by a person that at one point promised to love them through thick and thin.

When you add emotion, wrong doing, money, and two divorce lawyers that are getting paid $300 for every hour you utilize them, the combination can look like something out of fight club.

In fact, maybe forging lawyers and just having a real life, divorce fight club might be more therapeutic and less emotionally draining than a long, drawn-out divorce proceeding.

Here, people reveal the worst divorce cases they ever witnessed.


Protecting Yourself

Female joggers are some of the most susceptible people of getting attacked.

They are all alone, listening to music so they can’t hear someone come up on them, and they rarely have pockets to hold things like guns, mace, or knives.

That’s why this new invention for jogger self defense is brilliant.



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Written by Mcclain Warren


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