If It Makes You Happy

If It Makes You Happy

The Nightcap

Nightcap for January 2nd, 2018


“An honest man is always a child.” –

This Took My Breadth Away

If the internet had taught us anything, it’s that people get off on some freak’in weird fetishes. I miss the days when people were just happy getting whipped by chains with ball gags in their mouth. Those were simpler times.

Now, stories are surfacing of people getting their rocks off doing some weird ass shit.

Now, usually I don’t judge. You do you, boo, so long as it doesn’t involve a trip to the emergency room or prison.

But some of these subcultures are so bizarre you just kinda have to laugh.

For example, people that like to get their genitalia wrapped up in cellophane and rubber bands because apparently treating your manhood like it’s a terrorist insurgent is hot.

And then are these people of people that get off on bread. No, I didn’t misspell breast. I mean bread. Literally.

Check it out here. You know, if you’re hungry or need new ways to spice up the bedroom with you and the misses.

Give Me The Drugs!

Women have been cranking out babies since women could start cranking out babies which was like, I dunno, year zero?

Clearly, I’m not a historian…and definitely not a doctor by my referring to child birth as “cranking out.” (I’ve had a child and there was no cranking involved whatsoever. It was more like sheer panic while punching the morphine button.)

Yes. I asked for all the drugs the hospital had to offer when I was giving birth, and, quite frankly, sometimes raising a two-year-old makes me think I should have access to the same narcotics.

If you did it all natural, congratu-freakin-lations. You are a far superior human being than me. I’m ok with that. I’m a little bitch when it comes to pain and childbirth isn’t a little boo boo.

My point in all of this is that I’m pretty sure I couldn’t have child-reared centuries ago. No drugs, no anesthesia, high mortality rate, the list goes on…

To learn more about why you should be DAMN appreciative of being a mom in this time period, click here.

Looking Back at 2017

Did you miss any of the top Youtube videos of 2017? If so, watch a recap here.