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Full Of S***


The Nightcap

Nightcap for January 22nd, 2018

APERTIF:

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth


Action And Cut

Unless you’re two years old or a proctologist, you probably don’t like talking about poop.

Or, maybe you do… but that’s just weird. And I would highly recommend not using the topic as a segue into a conversation at a job interview or date.

We all poop. It’s one of the few things everyone has in common. But there are a lot of things we all do that just shouldn’t be addressed and this is probably the leading topic.

Which is why everyone was shocked when one Reddit writer explained he was surprised to find that most families didn’t grow up with a poop knife. Yes, you read that right and if you want to know what a poop knife is out of sheer, curious horror, click here.



The Raw Story

Do you drink raw water?

No?

Well, then clearly you hate yourself, your family, and the environment, so you might as well just stock up on soda and Sunny D-Light because the water you are currently drinking is just as bad.

Wait, what? Mukhande Singh (who used to be known as boring, old Christopher Sandborn), has Silicon Valley running for the Health Food stores for $37-a-gallon “raw” water because… it’s California and if you can convince anyone to spend that kind of money on water, it’s Californians.

Hey, maybe there is something to this whole “unfiltered”, “untreated” water movement, but I personally think I’ll stick with tap and bottled water, if for no other reason but to avoid spending a hefty amount of my paycheck on unsubstantiated claims by a guy who decided to change his name to something that sounds like a person who has orgies in teepees while tripping on peyote.

Read more about this “raw” water here


Puzzling

You’ve heard of color-by-numbers but what about “color-by-puzzle”?



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Written by Mcclain Warren


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