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Mom Life


The Nightcap

Nightcap for December 26th, 2017

APERTIF:

“Every burden is a blessing.” – Walt Kelly



Don’t Be That Person

Listen up, boys!

Being a mom is exhausting and being a single mom is enough to drive most people past the brink of sanity. If you’re a single mom, you probably haven’t slept in five years and all you want in a potential life partner is someone who will rub your feet from time to time… And lie and tell you your kids aren’t total assholes.

Unfortunately, a lot of men didn’t get this memo. They think squeezing a kid out of your hoo-ha is an invitation to be extra creepy … cuz I guess, hey, you can handle pain like a champ, right?

Being a single mom truly is a testament to your threshold for bullshit, so if you’re on a dating website and you find yourself clicking on the profile of a single mom – don’t be a dick. She probably has a five-year-old next to her throwing legos at her head while shes makes/burns dinner.

If you can’t respect that, then just go past her dating profile. Actually, if you can’t just be a decent human being, just erase your own dating profile and get yourself a good psychologist. Nobody needs your crap.

Here are some of the horrifying exchanges single moms have had on dating websites.



LulaNo

I might be the only person in the world that hates LulaRoe leggings.

To be fair, I’ve never actually put a pair on, but that’s because… they’re ugly as shit. It’s like the inventor of tie-dye t-shirts and the inventor of acid wash jeans got together and decided they would combine forces and show the world just how ugly a piece of clothing could be…

Voila! LulaRoe leggings were born. Then, to add insult to injury, the inventors were like, “Yeeeeeeah, we don’t really feel like selling this ugly shit so let’s just have the customers be the sellers and we’ll totally pretend it’s not a pyramid scheme.”

All this being said, you would think I hate leggings as a whole, but I don’t. I love them actually. Wearing a pair right now as I write this.

I love leggings so much that my Facebook page is just inundated with ads for leggings. Which is very irresponsible of Facebook because do they know how much I “wine-and-shop” late at night. Not cool.

So, to recap: Facebook is just a platform for totally illegal pyramid schemes, LulaRoe may be comfortable but you look like a walking Lisa Frank trapper keeper, and good old fashion yoga pants are totally acceptable in just about any situation.

And this woman wants you to know why we have to give up the “leggings aren’t pants” debate once and for all.


Old Friends

The trailer for the upcoming movie “Friends” just came out and we’re not sure what to believe. On one hand, we love the old sitcoms, but some things are meant to take their natural course and just die off. What do you think?

Watch the trailer here



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Written by Mcclain Warren


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