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Quit Your Crying


The Nightcap

Nightcap for February 15th, 2018

APERTIF:

“We make war that we may live in peace.” – Aristotle



The Reality Behind Adulting

We as human beings spend a significant amount of time wishing things were different. When we’re little, we want to be old enough to wear makeup and drive cars. When we’re teenagers, we want to be treated like the mature adults we think we are (with absolutely no substantial evidence to back such claims). When we’re in college, we can’t wait to join the real world and make our own way.

We can’t wait to legally drink then realize how terrible hangovers are.

We can’t wait to get married then half of us end up divorced because we can’t stand being married.

We can’t wait to make money then realize most of our earnings go to boring things like mortgages and medical bills.

When we’re young, we want to be old and when we’re old, we want to be young. We seemingly just are never effing happy and spend more time wishing we weren’t the person we were as opposed to just enjoying it.

Part of this discontentment has to do with how little we were prepared for these obstacles as kids. It’s not like parents sit you down and have “the talk”, but instead of talking about penises and menstruation cycles, the conversation is centered around how stressful being an adult can be. No 10-year-old deserves that sobering dose of reality. Better keep them in the dark and let them figure it out themselves.

So when Twitter did its magic by one user asking what adult problems you were never prepared for, a twitter storm of responses ensued. Some funny, some depressing, but every single last one of them was very, VERY real. Read them here.



Faux Pas at the Spa

Who doesn’t love a good spa day? You’re literally paying someone to pamper you which is a luxury many of us can’t afford. So if you CAN afford a nice facial and massage, bitch, you BETTER be loving every second of it.

Unless that “massage” is in some seedy strip mall whose sign is in flashing neon letters and they’re open until 3 am. Then… gross.

Here’s the thing about spas: even though it’s one of the few places you are encouraged to get naked and be touched by total strangers, there are still rules of etiquette established so both you and the workers can enjoy the experience without any awkwardness.

For starters, if you show up concerned about how the massage therapist or technician will view you instead of a positive, relaxed mindset, you’re just not going to enjoy yourself which is kind of the whole point. Plus, people who work at spas are NOT your therapist. If you’re looking for someone to make you feel better about your love handles or unmaintained bush, don’t bother your massage therapist with the griping. Their only concern is that you physically feel good. They’ve seen it all. Trust.

Here are a few more faux pas to consider before your next spa day.


Mental Floss

This artist takes origami to a whole new level, literally creating artwork with paper … as the pallet.



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Written by Mcclain Warren


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