“Forever is composed of nows.” – Emily Dickinson
How NOT To Mess Up Parenting
I write a lot of pieces on parenting. I’m really good at pretending like I know what the hell I’m talking about but the reality is, it’s all just a guessing game.
Real talk: raising human beings is a daunting task.
There’s really no frame of reference on just how mind-boggling and scary it can be until you are right in the thick of it. I’m sorry, but if you babysit little Timmy on the weekends or are the cool Aunt that takes your nieces to the zoo here and there, that in no way makes you an expert on parenting. In fact, it probably gives you a false sense of understanding all of the nuances that go into keeping a toddler alive. You get to give them back when you’re done which means you probably don’t understand the panic of having your kid’s temp spike in the middle of the night or the frustration of having your kid throw a tantrum in the produce aisle at your local grocery store.
Keeping them alive is just half the battle. On top of the sort of anxiety-inducing pressure THAT causes, you’re also trying to turn them into likable, functioning members of society one day, when you aren’t even sure YOU turned out all that great or have everything figured out.
Essentially, it’s the deaf leading the blind.
Most of us parents are just faking it til we make it. We pretend like we’re experts on mommy forums and in conversations with our circle of friends, but behind closed doors, we lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering what’s the best tactic to keep our little ones from turning into assholes.
We smile when we really want to cry, calmly ask our kids to be polite through gritted teeth, and drown our anxieties in wine.
The only thing you can really do is spend 18 years on google and hope that it’s armed you with enough insight to guide your children into adulthood without much incidence.
According to experts, one of the best things we can do is give our children agency – a sense of responsibility, that they are in charge of their own feelings and decisions in life no matter how small or large.
Because I have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s a well-written article from NPR, explaining how asserting agency in our youth can help ensure less anxiety and lack-of-control when left to their own devices.
When I first read the title of this article “9 Mistakes You’re Making With Your iPhone,” had to laugh a little.
What exactly were people doing wrong will their cell phones that it warranted an entire article to be dedicated to it? People using iPhones to wipe their bums? Using them to stir coffee? Using them as a weapon a la Naomi Campbell style?
Admittedly, even though I am a Gen X, I suck at technology, I’m so bad, my coworker is continually referring to me as his 80-year-old grandma. I use maybe 5% of the apps on my phone. The rest are there to look pretty and make it ten times harder to find the few apps I actually DO use.
So, of course, I was curious about how many ways I could be using my iPhone wrong and it turns out… it’s a butt load.
And before you start to make fun of me and my lack of tech savviness, check out the list and see if you aren’t as equally guilty of doing these things.
Arts and Crafts
Looking for something creative to do with all those excess bottle tops you have saved up for some inexplicable reason? Here’s a creative and fun project.