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The Nightcap

Nightcap for February 23rd, 2018

APERTIF:


“First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.” – George Bernard Shaw



You Gotta Fight, For Your Right, To Protest

I don’t remember the last time I went to a wedding where the priest or officiant asked, “if anyone opposes to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Is that even still a thing? Maybe only in certain religious circles. My guess is most people forgo that part because it’s downright rude and awkward.

First of all, if you had a problem with the wedding, you should have voiced your concern WAY before the actual ceremony. And if you DID voice your opinion and they decided to carry through with the wedding anyway, you certainly aren’t going to change their minds by interrupting the crux of the most important day of their life.

You’ll look like an idiot and an asshole (even if half the guests agree with you) and it’ll just make for a terrible rest of the day.

I mean, I guess if you decided to make a big scene, call them out on what a terrible idea it was, give the middle finger to the entire congregation, then peel out on a motorcycle in a blaze of glory, that might be kinda cool. But only for the guests.

The actually bridal and groom party will be horrified. But maybe that’s the point.

Here are some of the most cringe-worthy marital protests we’ve ever heard.



No, Your Kid Does NOT need a Cell Phone

I write on this subject a lot, and I’ll keep writing on it as long as it convinces even ONE parent to change their position or actions.

GET YOUR KIDS OFF THEIR iPHONES AND TABLETS. You’re seriously doing irreversible damage to their malleable minds.

Study after study after study shows the cognitive dissonance technology creates along with mental disorders like ADHD, depression, anxiety, insomnia and yes, even thoughts of suicide.

When Game Boys came out, I really really REALLY wanted one. All my friends had one and I thought they were “like, soooo cool, man.” My dad said no. What the hell did I need a game boy for when there was an entire world at my disposal?

(Side note: what I ACTUALLY asked him for was a Play Boy because I got the wording mixed up, so that may have been part of the reason he said no.)

I hated him for a little while because I thought he was being unfair, but I survived and I found better ways to fill my time.

Look, I totally get the appeal of throwing your kid in front of the TV or iPad, particularly when you’ve had a really bad day or want to have uninterrupted catch-up time with your friends. But I urge you to use that as a last resort.

Also, no 8-year-old needs a cell phone. Nobody. Who the f they gotta call so badly? Send folded up notes in class like we did if you have something important to convey.

Here’s one of the numerous articles explaining how detrimental these devices are.


Bizarre Foods

Maybe you’ve run an iron man or given natural childbirth, but do you think you’re strong enough to eat THIS?



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Written by Mcclain Warren


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