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Cheap Flights and Yoga Tights


The Nightcap

Nightcap for April 16th, 2018

APERTIF:

“By all means, use some time to be alone.” – Edward Young


One Way Ticket To Hell

When I was a kid, traveling was super exciting. Sure, a lot of that excitement was channeled toward the destination and all the fun things that being on a warm, sandy beach offered.

But the act of flying was pretty thrilling in and of itself, regardless of where that plane was taking us. I liked having a window seat and watching the landscape of houses and cars rapidly disappear into tiny little dots as the plane gained speed and altitude. I liked the inevitable flipping feeling I would get in my stomach when the plane would hit turbulence. I felt important when I was offered free headphones, pillows, and movies. I thought it was cool that the flight attendants would prepare us hot meals complete with a dessert and drink. Everyone dressed in their “Sunday’s Best” and traveling felt like a luxury, not a chore.

But things have changed exponentially over the years and not for the better. Flying has become a nuisance; a means of transportation barely more enjoyable than traveling on a Greyhound Bus. Gone are the days of free food and blankets and comfort. In its place is a lackluster experience in which you half expect a stewardess to cattle prod you and your fellow flyers on and off the plane.

Even more frustrating are the hidden charges they tack-on to just about any freak’in service available. Think a $200 plane ticket sounds cheap? Think again. By the time you pay for your luggage fees, internet fees, drink fees -even “first boarding” fees – you’ve more than doubled the price of that ticket.

You would think with all the bad press airlines have received over the last few years, they would do whatever it took to counteract people’s’ perception of them. Instead, it feels like they are taking every measure possible to make traveling a nightmare. It’s like being in an abusive relationship – airline companies know we are dependent on them, so they treat us like crap, knowing full well we’ll keep coming back.

As this traveler explains, airlines have created their own caste system, making travel (at best) a nuisance and (at worst) a nightmare.



Begging For Leggings

We are living in exciting times, people.

There is now a contraceptive for men. You can buy groceries online. They just launched a car into outer space, and leggings are considered perfectly acceptable attire for most events.

The last one is probably the most exciting for both men AND women.

Unless you fit into that small category of people who don’t accept yoga pants as on-the-town dress wear (in which case, maybe you should move to a place where everyone is a fun-ruiner, Susan), then you know that leggings are the answer to all life’s problems.

There isn’t a single problem leggings can’t fix. Great ideas and inventions throughout society have been sparked by women in coffee shops rocking their LulaRoes. Moms everywhere have increased their productivity simply by forgoing their skirts and jeans in place of the all-mighty spandex. And don’t quote me on this, but I’m fairly certain there is a direct correlation between how often you wear leggings and the likelihood you’ll get laid. Men are to yoga pants like women are to Target – it’s an inexplicable gravitational pull and likely not to ease up any time soon.

Leggings are so popular that SNL recently decided to forgo a night of making fun of Trump to create this hilarious satirical commercial.


Stick It To The Man

Rebelling against “the system” is something societies and subgroups have been doing forever, usually under an authoritarian regime. So, while this punk rock subcultural in Cuba isn’t unique in its efforts to stand against a communistic dictatorship, they certainly chose an odd way to do it.

Watch here



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Written by Mcclain Warren


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