“I don’t want to be in a relationship for the same reason I don’t want a kid: I don’t want anything in my life to be more important than me.” – Michelle Wolf
International House of WHAT?
Is nothing sacred in this world anymore?
There are just certain things you DON’T mess with and the sooner corporations and chains realize this, the sooner we can live in a utopian society where everyone is happy.
A few hard rules:
Reunions, sequels, and remakes of classic movies and tv shows are almost ALWAYS a horrible idea.
Vin Diesel will ALWAYS have to be the lead character in Fast and Furious, even if he’s 80 and senile. (Also, it’s literally the only job the poor guy can do.)
Stop trying to fancy up the Big Mac. It’s perfect how it is. You don’t need to replace the bread with a Cinnabon.
People eat at IHOP for three reasons: they are poor, they are drunk, or they just love the pancakes. Don’t mess with it.
Recently, the famous pancake chain made headlines when they proposed a brand change, but they learned real quick what happens when you try to mess with a classic.
Luckily, things have returned to normal, and all is happy in the world.
Staying “woke” can be difficult. Hell, just saying the word “woke” can be difficult.
I’d like to think most people are genuinely good and want to live in a high-functioning society where everyone is happy and doing their own thing. But it can be exhausting trying to keep up with what does or doesn’t offend people. What will you say that crosses the line? Who will be that ultra “woke” person who jumps down your throat because you used the wrong terminology?
Issues like this put someone like me in a very precarious situation. I’m quite liberal and get that there are tons of social problems that need to be addressed because they’ve remained stagnant and unapproached for far too long.
I also really could give a fuck about being “politically correct.” I use the term gay way too flippantly, I think not raising your kid to have a gender is the dumbest thing ever, and the other day I compared my severely autistic sister-in-law to “regular kids.” (Boy, did I pay the piper on that un-PC terminology).
Am I wrong with my casual choice of words? Absolutely! Do I really give a shit anymore? No. I cared when it was serious like using racial slurs or purposeful derogatory terms. I stopped caring when kids wanted to start being referred to as “them” and when it wasn’t enough to be bi-sexual – suddenly everyone was “pansexual.”
I “noped” off that “woke” train a few exits ago and I have zero regrets.
Watch the hysterical spoof on just how insane our politically-correct, woke society has become here.
Jurassic World The Musical
What could be better than the new Jurassic World movies? How about the animated parody…
Watch the video here, you won’t be sorry.