“When turkeys mate they think of swans.” – Johnny Carson
The Future of Sports
Just when you think our society couldn’t possibly get any more stagnant or self-isolating, something new comes out that pushes us one step closer to the extinction of human interaction as we know it.
I’m just as guilty as the next of ordering things on Amazon that I could just as easily buy at the Target down the street. I love the talk-button feature on my smart TV, virtually all my financial transactions are done online and – HELL YEAH – I would rather replace my ID online than sit through the nightmare that is the DMV.
But still, some things are sacred and can’t be fully recreated online… things like sex and sports.
The reason sports are fun to play and watch is because they require a level of physical prowess and aptitude unmatched by 90% of the population. The amount of talent and strength required to jump, tackle, run, shoot, hit, or catch at a professional level is what makes being a spectator so exciting.
But apparently, the newest sports franchise has nothing to do with physical fitness — it doesn’t even require its players to get off the couch.
The Overwatch League has spearheaded a movement to bring eSports to both the National and international forefront and it’s speculated to be as big as the NBA and NFL.
Now, I realize that playing video games actually IS a skill-set that needs to be mastered through time and dedication, so I’m certainly not trying to undermine that.
However, if I wanted to watch people compete in video games, I would move back in with my stoner college roommates. If I’m going to be spending my time cheering for you, I wanna see sweat and physical interaction.
And maybe a fight every once in a while cuz… testosterone.
For more on who OWL is and what they are trying to accomplish, click here.
99% of the time, pickup lines don’t work. They come off as cheesy and calculated and insincere which makes the recipient feel like just another target. Of course, that’s the exact opposite of what a pickup line is meant to accomplish.
However, every once in a while, someone will say something so creative and with such smooth execution… it just works.
To be fair, approaching a stranger you think you may want to see naked later down the road is a tad intimidating. Will they reciprocate interest in seeing you naked? Will they laugh in your face? Will they tase you?
These are all totally valid questions that race through your head seconds before you approach someone.
We can’t tell you what pickup lines work and which ones don’t. We CAN, however, tell you the 30 smoothest pickup lines in cinematic history.
Michael Jackson Meets Donald Trump
You know how some people seem to have just way too much time on their hands? This Michael Jackson/Donald Trump mash-up is proof of that. But, man, is it hilarious!