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Fun Is Now Illegal: Kooky Cop Tales


The Nightcap

Nightcap for October 12th, 2018

APERITIF:

“In a Toyota, the cops don’t think about stopping you so much.” – Chuck Berry



Indian Police Commanded not to Smile

Apparently, the level of friendliness you experience from Indian Police officers is entirely based on a creepy militaryesque doctrine that can be dialed down on demand.

Citing apparent safety concerns as justification, India’s ‘Central Industrial Security Force’ has had its smile protocols altered. Apparently moving, “from a broad smile system to a sufficient smile system”…

Meaning Indian police are no longer allowed to smile.



Framed by Phantoms: Bayou Bum Blames Ghosts for Meth

America’s drug epidemic has spread to our resident ghosts; at least if you believe Michael L. Auttenberry who apparently called police on himself claiming to have been attacked by a mysterious axeman.

When deputies arrived, they found the caller at his front door cursing at people who were “obviously not there.”

Police found no indication that he had been attacked.

At this point Mike tried to get ahead of the game, pre-emptively blaming the meth in his home — he apparently decided the cops would find — on a ghost. Solid game plan.

Meth folks… so bad it calls the cops on itself.


Virginia Cops will be Arresting Trick or Treaters

Thank god for the police; who else would protect me from children looking for some free candy after 8 pm?

This sounds like a joke but in several parts of Virginia, laws have been put in place to arrest any trick or treaters out after the late hour of 8 pm.

Of course, trick or treating is *totally illegal* for anyone over 12 in these places… totally rational… not heavy-handed at all…

Maybe make sure you aren’t in the combat zone, before your kid gets thrown in the can for 30 days.



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Written by Ryan C


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