Brace Yourself...

Brace Yourself…

The Nightcap

Nightcap for October 29th, 2018


“It’s sometimes shocking to find out what people really believe in.” Tracey Ullman

Make Canada Great Again

Breaking News: Canada just became the first country in the world to legalize marijuana and health experts are preparing for the worst.

They anticipate by 2020, half of Canadian’s youth will be crack-addicted homeless vagabonds, slinging their genitals for iPhones and Ho Hos while they pollute the sidewalks and parks with trash and EDM music.

Just kidding.

Probably the only real difference now is that stock in Doritos and video game will spike exponentially, so you probably should start investing your money.

Here’s what happened hours following this monumental and historic legislation change.

Porn Panic

YouTube is a public video forum that (for better or worse) provides insight into the world around us and displays the vast scope of behaviors, interests, hobbies, and personalities that reside within the human race. It is equally entertaining and interesting as it is horrifying.

YouTube is great when you want to watch a tutorial on making boiled eggs or find an obscure music video from the 80’s or watch strangers staple their genitals to things. Really, there isn’t anything you CAN’T fix in your life by searching for it on YouTube.

So, when the site went down for a little over an hour the other day, the entire world collectively LOST… THEIR… SHIT.

(Which, by the way, goes to show you that all somebody would need to do to cause mass hysteria and world domination is abolish access to cat videos and song mash-ups.)

While this was devastating news for many, there was one group of people that were thrilled: the people at Pornhub.

Apparently, this is what happens when the world temporarily doesn’t have access to YouTube.

Lip Sync Battle with Tiffany Haddish

Jimmy faces off against Tiffany Haddish in an intense lip sync-off to songs like Post Malone’s “Psycho” and James Brown’s “Get Up (I Feel Like Being a) Sex Machine.”

Watch here