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Just In Time For Christmas


The Nightcap

Nightcap for December 6th, 2018

APERITIF:

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” – Oscar Wilde



Fart Prevention

There are a number of things that could go wrong on a first date, which is probably the reason first dates can be so nerve-wracking and also why at least one beer is generally required before said date.

What could go wrong? Well, setting aside the obvious things like your date could be boring, a drug addict, a serial killer, or a libertarian, there are also smaller things that could make a date go from smooth to apocalyptic in a matter of seconds. Things like forgetting your wallet, having food stuck in your teeth, sneezing snot into her dinner, or letting a huge fart accidentally rip while you two are making out.

Well, now you no longer have to worry about breaking wind in front of your lady-friend because …. science.

Researchers in Australia came up with an ingestible mechanism to track your farting because apparently Australians don’t have bigger things to worry about.



Things That Make You Go Huh

The driving force (and consequentially the success) of consumerism relies heavily on two constants in society: wanting things to make our lives easier (a.k.a. laziness) and our love for acquiring shit to make us look cool.

And that makes sense in many cases. Products like dishwashers, heated car seats, high-resolution TVs, 2-in-1 conditioners, Bluetooth, Alexa, and vibrators are all examples of products we really enjoy having because they add value and ease to our daily lives.

But there are certain products that are pushed upon us that seem not only unnecessary but a complete waste of money.

This new product currently being sold at Anthropologie is a prime example of just how far people are willing to go to buy dumb shit.

In other news, at the reasonable price of $35.99, I’ll be selling gift-wrapped gravel rocks, if anybody is interested.


Ryan Reynolds Has Had Enough

Ryan Reynolds’ two young daughters can’t start a day without watching “Frozen,” and he has had enough of it.

The Hollywood heartthrob also chatted with Ellen about getting a bad haircut in Abu Dhabi, and spending Thanksgiving with his family there, and the upcoming PG-13 version of his hit R-rated film “Deadpool 2” called “Once Upon a Deadpool”.

Watch the interview here



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Written by Mcclain Warren


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