The Most Expensive Divorce of All Time

The Nightcap

Nightcap for January 12th, 2019


“I have learned that not diamonds but divorce lawyers are a girl’s best friend.”: – Zsa Zsa Gabor

Dividing the Bezos Fortune

The most powerful couple – at least in terms of sheer wealth – in the world are splitting up. Jeff Bezos, Amazon CEO and founder and his wife Mackenzie’s divorce could drastically reduce Jeff’s stake in Amazon and open the door for his wife to become one of its largest shareholders and thus someone with their own influence in the company.

As it turns out Washington, where the family lives (and Amazon is also based), is a community property state, which means assets accrued during the marriage must be split equally in a divorce. Given that Amazon launched after the pair were married – In fact their entire fortune came post marriage – this rule would likely apply to virtually all of Jeff Bezos’ current $137 billion net worth, experts say.

Nobody seems to know if the couple has a prenup (or ‘postnup’) agreement. It’s also unclear whether they might file for divorce in a different state considering they own properties in places like California, Texas and Washington D.C.

Assuming there is no prior agreement in place, Jeff may need to either sell off or transfer half of his more than 16% stake in the company to fulfill an equal split for the divorce, lawyers say. Interestingly Bezos’ shares have never been why he’s led the company after all 16% can’t possibly control. Instead his long tenure at the helm is due to his capabilities and track record, which means nothing should change there.

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France Builds a Wall

Apparently, due to our own sticky shutdown situation over ‘The Wall’ news outlets have seen fit to inform us whenever other lands erect physical barriers. I guess that’s called relevance.

Anyhow it turns out the French, who have a tendency to look down on America’s ‘lack of progressiveness’ when they aren’t busy lighting their Capitol on fire, decided they needed their own wall, just not at the border.

Paris is getting set to unveil its newest feature, perimeter defenses around the Eiffel Tower to protect against terror threats. Considering nearly 300 people have died in France from terror in the last few years it’s not entirely surprising they’re worried about their most famous symbol.

Temporary barriers were placed around the tower in June 2016 and are now being replaced with more permanent measures. The seriously formidable fortifications are set to be completed in mid-July and has cost nearly €35 million ($40.1m; £30.1m).

Bernard Gaudillère, president of the Société d’Exploitation de la Tour Eiffel (SETE) which runs the iconic monument, told the BBC the new walls were “rock-solid for absolute security.”

Guess if I ever visit the modern wonder I’ll be peering at it over machine guns…

Canada: Where Recycling Too Much is a Crime

Ah, Canada. No place ever had such an inflated reputation as our colonial brethren to the north. Renowned as a veritable utopia by many, the veneer of the famous land of nice folks and universal healthcare tends to fade with a closer inspection. Take an Ontario senior who was pulled over and accosted by Canada Cops for doing *too much* recycling thanks to new laws that let cops pull Canadians over for whatever they want.

Art Lightowler, 70, was shaken when pulled over and given a breath test because a cop thought he returned too many empties.

“He thought I had dropped off an excessive number of bottles at The Beer Store,” Lightowler explains. The poor guy had accumulated three cases of empty beer bottles and eight wine bottles over the holidays and was just trying to do good by the world reusing them. But, “To him, that was too much.”

Asked if he’d been drinking, the senior said he’d had a beer at midnight while watching Taken 2. “You need a drink for that movie” he joked to reporters. Luckily my man Art pulled it off and got away with the crime of the century.