Protect Your Privates!

The Nightcap

Nightcap for 03/04/2019


“Fake is as old as the Eden tree.” – Orson Welles

Lustful Ladies

It’s nearly impossible to watch television for any length of time and not find yourself on the receiving end of a Viagra or E.D. commercial.

And they’re always the same – some silver fox with a sweater tied around his shoulders and a significantly younger woman by his side, smiling on a sailboat. Apparently, Pfizer thinks their main clientele are old rich men who only want to get it up for their trophy wives. (Although, in the company’s defense, nobody wants to see a commercial about Larry the electrician that usually falls asleep in his recliner chair with beer and cheese on his chest.)

What you will almost NEVER find are commercials geared toward women who have lost their sexual mojo. I guess losing the female orgasm isn’t quite the code red emergency that erectile dysfunction is. Ahhhhhh, the perks of being a male (no pun intended).

But if there ever was a commercial that came out championing for menopausal women’s right to be horny, hopefully it would look something like this.

The King or Bling

Throughout history, people and communities have shown their support for their version of God in a wide variety of ways. From ceremonial dances to abstaining from something for 40 days to wearing specific garments to show respect – mankind has come up with some interesting and unique ways to symbolize his dedication for The Creator.

Most of the time, these rituals are harmless (like going to church or doing a fast). However, in any case in which there is a significant leaning of power on one person or a few profits, there is always the chance of gross negligence and manipulation.

We saw this in the Jonestown and Waco massacres, and while these examples are very isolated incidents, they do give credence to a larger issue which is how people in power manipulate other people by using God as a scare tactic.

Recently, a man in India (who refers to himself as the Guru in Bling, no less) came under public scrutiny for convincing hundreds of followers to cut off their balls in his name. And to be honest, I can’t think of a better euphemism for extreme religious sectors than a man who has the word “money” in his title, forcing a bunch of followers to cut off their nutsack.

Symbolism at its finest.

Read the whole story here.

I Got Beat Up by One of Yelp’s Worst-Rated MMA Trainers

After falling victim to the wrath of online trolls, VICE’s Taji Ameen decided it would be in his best interest to take a self defense lesson from a Grand Master of the Martial Arts.

Taji took to Yelp in search of the worst rated MMA instructors in New York and came across Grand Master Gerry, founder and owner of Winner’s Club MMA.

Watch here