The Sassy and the Sweaty

The Nightcap

Nightcap for 03/20/2019


“I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up.”

― Dora J. Arod,

Sassy and Smart-Assy

Kids aren’t for everyone.

If I’m going to be totally honest, kids aren’t for most parents either.

It’s one of those tricks biology plays on you. At a certain age, you start seeing all of these seemingly happy couples with babies and you think “I could do that.” Then you do it, and you spend the next 18 years wondering why the f*** did you have to go and do that for? It’s like buying a time-share. It seems like an obvious step in your life and then, after you commit, you spend all of your time trying to think of ways to get rid of it or do damage control.

Largely, kids aren’t for everyone because they can be cruel. Don’t get me wrong – sometimes they can be absolutely HYSTERICAL…. but cruel, nonetheless.

Here are 21 examples of kids being savage AF, and you won’t know whether you should be crying from laughter or empathy.

Eau De Toilette and Sweat

Virtually everyone can relate to certain scents stirring up memories of a person, place, or time in their life. Furthermore, smells can also elicit emotional responses which seems rather odd, seeing as our emotions and olfactory senses don’t appear to have any connection.

But that’s not true.

Upon detecting a particular smell out, olfactory neurons generate an impulse which is passed to the brain along the olfactory nerve. The part of the brain this impulse arrives at is the frontal cortex – a part of the limbic system that regulates mood, memory, behavior, and emotion. This is why there is such a strong correlation between scent and mood and memory.

The perfume industry is a multi-billion dollar industry that relies on people’s emotional connection to solicit sales. They make money not because people just like to smell good, but because people have a vested interest in scent.

Which is why, when I heard about this new perfume designed specifically to smell like sperm and sweat, I was A) totally grossed out and B) curious as to what emotion exactly the makers of it were going after? Shame and guilt?

For more about this perfume (and details on how to purchase it if you so happen to want to smell like a hooker.)… click here

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

The film — starring Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio and Margot Robbie — is set to hit theaters in July.

Watch the preview here