A Real Genius

The Nightcap


APERITIF:


“Jealousy contains more of self-love than of love.” –
Francois de La Rochefoucauld



Raps to Jesus

There’s nothing worse than seeing old people trying to be young. We aren’t just talking about the normal attempt by some to hold on to certain aspects of their youth. Oh, no. We are talking about old people who are going the extra mile to impress young people by turning gospel songs into hip-hop songs.

First of all, someone should have told these old people that it’s virtually impossible to impress teenagers if you are over the age of 25-years-old.

Second, these old folks in this video should have been told that there is nothing worse than seeing old women taking off their robes in a church choir while singing “it’s getting hot in here, so I’m gonna take my robe off” by rapper Nelly.

This video reveals the desperation of the choir members to gain a new, young following!

There is absolutely no other reason that could possibly explain why these elderly choir members thought it would be a great idea to sing rap songs and then dedicate them to the Lord. Can’t imagine Jesus tapping his feet to these guys as they run out of breath, trying to get through a rap verse.



Instant Gains

While most humans preach of the importance of hard work and discipline with regards to success, application of this principle is something to be desired.

This is particularly true with regards to health and fitness. The cosmetic, beauty, and diet/supplement industry is a multi-billion dollar enterprise, yet people continue to get fatter, sicker, and more stationary.

So, what’s the solution to getting that coveted, summer bod without having to workout or desist your love for Doritos? Plastic surgery, of course!

And, for the low price of $3,250, this hospital will provide you with six-pack ab implants that are just as creepy as they sound.


Homo Sapien Extinction

The U.N. released a big report this week that says among other things, that more than a million species of plants and animals are facing extinction. To raise awareness, Kimmel went out on the street to ask people if they were worried about one endangered species in particular – ‘Homo Sapiens.’

Watch it all here