Welcome To A New Era

The Nightcap


APERITIF:

“With our love, we could save the world.” – George Harrison



Make It Til You Fake It

If you are under the age of 40, enjoy it. No, I mean like reaaaaallllyyy enjoy it. Don’t take any of it for granted.

If you can get out of bed in the morning without moaning, praise baby Jesus! If you can turn your head around fluidly to check out a girl or a car without pain, hallelujah! If you can sit on an uncomfortable bar stool without paying for it in your back the next morning, more power to you!

Because once you turn forty, that all goes to shit. The free body-ride pretty much ends there. Every part of your anatomy hurts as soon as your gut your fortieth birthday including places you didn’t even know COULD hurt like your ears and hair.

Here are surprising ways 40-somethings injure themselves just going about their daily lives.



Weed Waste

It’s 2020 which means virtually EVERYONE partakes in weed (or at least some derivative of it). Hell, my 68-year-old mom smokes and she’s a diehard Republican that wears mom jeans and listens to Rod Stewart and is so boujee, she always orders the most expensive wine at dinner.

But even then, I still associate marijuana with eco-conscious vegans that wear hemp necklaces and get their chakras read and have gluten allergies.

Assuming my stereotype is partially correct, you would think the weed industry would follow suit, attempting to be socially and environmentally aware themselves. But it turns out, the weed industry has a serious waste problem and it comes in the form of plastic.

Here’s the scoop.


Make Women Great Again…

Let’s be real clear about something: not all feminists are bad. HOWEVER… There are feminists that are jerks and there are jerks that mask themselves as feminists to make the rest of women look bad.

For example, if you get mad at a guy holding a door for you or if every time a person with a penis who tries to help teach you something you call it mansplaining.

According to one guy, we need some dudes to set womenkind straight. Hence this new conference “Make Women Great Again!”

For the low price of $2,000, you can sit in front of a panel of men explaining why your lack of femininity is the reason marriages dissolve and the crux of the unraveling of our society.

So, the question is, what lucky lady is going with me?