“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
The Cure For Everything
At what age did you learn that the song “Blister in The Sun” by the Violent Femmes was about masturbation? Were you 12? 20? Did you even know until just now?
Wait… Do you even know who the Violent Femmes even are?
Regardless, now you know that it was a very popular song in the early ’90s about masturbation and now you can’t un-know that, so you are welcome.
Little did the Violent Femmes know while making “Blister In The Sun” was that they were giving out solid, science-based health advice.
According to this article, “getting off” is one of the best things you can do for your health to boost your immune system, and who are we to argue with science?
Years ago, I read an opinion piece dripping with sarcasm (yet COMPLETELY accurate) that most diet-related health issues were something only wealthy people could afford.
Not health conditions like diabetes or high blood pressure, of course. Obviously, most people could potentially be prone to that). The writer meant things like gluten allergies or lactose intolerance or sensitivities to certain foods.
The op-piece wasn’t trying to insinuate that these things don’t exist; she was merely shedding light on the fact that foods that cater to such demands tend to only be affordable by the well-off.
Which is why this particular article was so accurately funny (particularly if you live in places like Asheville, Austin, or Portland.)
There are some things that just shouldn’t have to be said – they should just be common sense, like “Be kind to one another”, “Wipe from front to back”, and “Don’t eat at Arby’s. You’ll die.”
These are basic core concepts that you should learn at a very young age and yet, many of today’s population doesn’t follow these ground rules.
Why? Lack of caring. Lack of a parental figure. Lack of a brain. Who knows? Regardless, common sense doesn’t come naturally to everyone and that is especially true when you mix the internet with panic.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but please don’t drink bleach or use cocaine to protect yourself from the coronavirus. I mean, by all means, do either if you just WANT to. But don’t do these things to sanitize yourself from a potential pandemic.
Sounds pretty obvious right? Well, not to everyone. Read about these “new cures” here, then do the exact opposite.